So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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