White coat. Heels.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
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