with your own penis?
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Michael Bay diarrhea
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
