So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Even my vagina gasped.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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