I want to make a zoo with you.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
