i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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