Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
