Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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