I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
