You're my little dorito
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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