No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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