Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
