But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
