If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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