He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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