I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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