Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
