Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
