when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
