omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
