you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
