He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
