Where is the hickey?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
