what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
