I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
