I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
