if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
