Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
