Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
