Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i think im in europe. pls send help
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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