I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
