kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
