as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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