were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm at about main and main street
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
