Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
True strength comes from lack of pants
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize