I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
