I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
