1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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