I'm laying in your front yard are you home
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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