I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
