I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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