My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
