it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
