we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
