quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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