She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
