dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
