Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
