"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
