Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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