so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
