you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
