Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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