Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
