doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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