Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
