do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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