Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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