you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
