it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
