And the cops told us we were all naked.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
