i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We were destined to go to rehab together
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
