butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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