apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
