Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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