One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
