I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
