my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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