found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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