Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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