im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Actions speak louder than pants.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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