i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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