Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
