I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Umm I'm too high to move.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Randomize
