He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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